Satire. Webster defines it as trenchant wit, irony or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly. Frustration. The feeling one gets when others are unable to correctly identify satire. Shakespeare once wrote that 'a knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear,' but never did I think that such a speech would fall weary upon so many ears. But in light of feedback concerning my recent Flyer News article, I feel in some ways it is my obligation to clarify a few things. And while I appreciate those who have commented on the humor of my article, such as David Hellman in last week's issue of the Flyer News, I believe some have failed to grasp my intent in writing the article. So please, hear me out for a moment; I have grown quite tired of this recent feedback.

At the heart of the article was what I had hoped to be a comment on the absurdity of the type of feminism we find today in left-wing liberal arts colleges (I know, a bit redundant). I must admit at first that the article was simply a ploy to get something ridiculous published in the Flyer News. The penis is after all a funny organ; I wasn't kidding about that. But when my roommate was so kind as to point to a Harvard article from 2003 bemoaning gendered violence as a result of the snow penis, I was beside myself. Is this what we do now at universities such as Harvard? We address societal problems stemming from symbols of the male genitalia? How ridiculous.

So when people like David Hellmann read my article and ask, 'are you kidding me,' my response is no I'm not. These are the issues which we address in academia on a daily basis in some sad attempt, I suppose, to create problems that do not exist. As a former humanities major and someone who cares deeply about what the humanities has to offer, I find attention to such nonsense rather disconcerting. Is this how we are to treat the humanities now? To make a mockery of them?

Listen, what do we suppose those who built that snow penis in the first place intended by it? To create gendered violence, to expose the sexual vulnerability of women? Such were the arguments of those at Harvard University three years ago. Now I like to think of myself as a pretty intelligent person. As such, I enjoy the humanities up until the point where they begin to purport theories for which there is little empirical evidence. The bottom line is no such evidence exists, nor would it on a campus such as Harvard. If feminists are truly worried about gendered violence, they should perhaps begin where it is most prevalent: in other countries.

On one final note, I'd like to address those questions which were directed towards me by David Hellmann (or Mr. David as he is accustomed to addressing others). Yes, I do in fact have a mother and yes, I do hold the door for her whenever the opportunity for door-holding should arise. I guess I answer these questions as a way of bringing this article around full circle. This was a piece of satire; please recognize that. I gather you are an intelligent person yourself, David, for you are a UD alumnus, so why was my sarcasm lost upon you and so many other people? Satire is a lovely thing, something for which I am very grateful. Next time I hope you will recognize it when it's there. So please, take my article for what it is and what it is trying to say. My hope is that the snow penis will remain for ages to come what it has and continues to be: a simple act of immaturity.

Brian Krilov
Mathematics
Sophomore