I quietly read through this past week's Flyer News, the "50 Years of Flyer News" edition. You probably saw it. As I digested the pictures and the timeless words I fell into a shallow depression - I'd say that I fell into a deep, passionate, layered depression with exciting ups and downs and midnight dreams about wrestling with black bears at Tim's, but I no longer believe that any of us are capable of such depth.

The entirety of my depressed blah fermented slowly into eager anger as I realized the truth about the state of this campus. Friends, colleagues, the 1970 versions of us - those UD students that boldly camped out in the KU lobby when the university threatened to slice the Union's all-day-all-night hours - would be appalled at our cowardice in front of a locked basement door. The 1979 versions of us would be enraged to learn that Jane Fonda has not - not once! - returned to the Fieldhouse to deliver a tirade about the economy. Sadly, we have dissolved into indifference.

So, with one hopeful eye on the future and another laughing at the thought of Jane Fonda coming back to the Fieldhouse, I ask, where have our hearts gone?

Where is our spirit? And, no, it's not in that new shop along Brown Street. Why hasn't Tom Petty come back to play? (Don't say "age.") Why haven't we elected an SGA president whom the Marianists feel would be better off with a mess kit in the military than here on campus?

Does anyone even know who the SGA president is? No. Exactly. (Sorry, John.)

And what of the Flyer News? Did anyone catch the recent FRONT PAGE feature on the wonders of Parking Services? Parking Services!? Fiddlesticks! Nobody likes Parking Services or their inescapable parking tickets. And no one should sing their praises in our newspaper - this is our stage, our news feed.

Thus, I think we need to get a little heated. It's time we find that song on our iPods that is coolly moving and inspirational, play it really ridiculously loud, and then slowly begin to reclaim those years of our lives that we have yet to lose. And I'm not saying that the riots and fires of yesteryear should return - violence has no place here - but that same energy can resurface and we can channel it into progress. Or we could just have one crazy-good time!

  I'm talking about exotic petting zoos, people! Apparently, we used to do that. The Crime Log these days is so boring... boring and cold. (Criminal damaging, theft, theft, criminal damaging.) Let's kidnap a few more Ghetto dogs and hang a gigantic "F" in front of the Art Street sign. Let's make a few more prank phone calls as Yogi Bear and sled down Stuart Hill in things that were never intended to sled down Stuart Hill.

The Deli might always be here, but we won't.